By Beds SU
Monday, 27 February 2023
You may be confused about personal pronouns; what they are, how to use them and why they are used. This article is here to help explain all the questions you might have.
What are they?
Personal Pronouns are what we use as a substitute for the name of a person.
The most commonly used pronouns are he/him and she/her. However, there is a whole range of various pronouns that can be used.
Other variations can include ze/zir or they. Some people may prefer to not use any pronouns at all and rather be addressed by their name.
Of course there are more pronouns available and its personal for each person. Hence the name personal pronouns!
How are they used?
Personal pronouns are used in everyday speech.
If the person prefers he/him pronouns then he would expect to be referred to with the he/him pronouns. For example: ‘he went to buy a dog’.
But, if the person uses she/her pronouns then the sentence changes to: ‘she went to buy a dog’.
If ze/zir then: ‘zir went to buy a dog’.
If they pronouns: ‘they went to buy a dog’.
And if no pronouns then you would use the person’s name: ‘Patrick went to buy a dog’.
This extends to any and all pronouns you wish to use but hopefully this gives you a good gist on how to use them.
Mistakes and how to correct them
If you have mistakenly referred to someone with the incorrect personal pronouns, then there are some things you need to consider.
First, mistakes should be considered within the wider context of the situation. These include the cultural, organizational and the situational context, as well as the personalities and positionalities of the people interacting.
Mistakes can be fixed. This can be done by a follow up conversation with the person you referred to incorrectly, an apology, or asking if there’s anything you can do to correct it moving forward.
Do not make a big deal out of your mistake. It may be harmful to the person you mistakenly addressed.
The person addressed may not want to talk about it further after your follow up conversation. On the other hand, the person may want to explain further and educate you for future conversations. As said, it depends on the person and circumstance so be mindful of how the other person is feeling.
The best thing to do is to establish the persons personal pronoun, if not known already, and use it correctly for future interactions.
Inclusive language
Inclusive language is used to help avoid gender assumptions that may be harmful.
So instead of referring to a particular person, who has not disclosed their identity to you, as a “man” or “woman”, you could simply use “the person…”
Similarly, instead of “he” or “she” when speaking about an unknown person, you could use:
• They
• That person
• The guest
For groups of people, avoid using phrases such as “ladies and gentlemen” or “boys and girls.” Instead, you could refer to them as:
• Everyone
• Friends
• Colleagues
• Guests
• Children
• Students
You most likely do not mean harm, but it is simple for us to change our language so we make everyone feel included, accepted and respected.
Why are they used?
Personal pronouns are used by all of us to refer to others.
Often those who choose to not use the common he/him and she/her pronouns do so because they do not identify with the gender implications both pronouns are often associated with. These associations to a certain gender are not always accurate or helpful so people choose to use other pronouns.
Also, often people make assumptions about the gender of another person based on the person’s appearance or name. Again, these assumptions are not aways accurate and enforce the notion that you have to look a certain way to demonstrate the gender you are or are not.
Using someone’s preferred personal pronouns is a way to show basic respect and create an inclusive environment.